link and pikachu's excellent adventure
by koopashawn99
Summary: link and pikachu have to become heroes when link's waifu lucina is kindapped! can they save the grill? sponsored by gamer fuel
1. Chapter 1: The Journey Begins

It was a cold stormy night in December, and Pikachu was on the computer generating memes. Suddenly, Link came threw the door and broke the apartment door because he was in a hurry.

"Pikachu this is very big." Link the hero of time said.

"What I'm busy can't you see?" Pikachu said a bit angry.

"Lucina has been kidnapped!" Link replied. (Author's Note: Link is not going to save Zelda because she is ugly and has goblin ears I have chosen Lucina for that role haters fuck off if you have a problem!)

"Oh No" said Pikachu as he shut off his computer and got up to go with Link. "We should save her very fastly!"

And so they went. Link and Pikachu had been too busy playing Call of Duty™: Advanced Warfare for Xbox One, so they had not noticed anything out of the ordinary going on. It was only recently that Link discovered Lucina was not in Link's bed like she usually was, so he felt a lot of the guilt for not being able to save her.

"Hey do you know where she is?" Pikachu asked Link, as he led them to the convenience store. "I don't think anyone would hold her hostage here man"

Link walked into the convenience store ignoring Pikachu as he grabbed some Doritos™ and Mountain Dew™ and took them to the cashier. Pikachu got a bit mad as he did not like being ignored.

"LINK" Pikachu said in a stern tone. "This isn't the time for gamer snacks we should go find Lucina!"

Link snapped. He turned to face Pikachu and screamed. "I DON'T KNOW ALRIGHT" He began to cry a little. "I came home from your place after playing Xbox and she was just gone and I have no idea where. And I'm SURE she was kidnapped because EVERYONE WANTS ME TO BE MISREBLE I GUESS!"

Link sobbed and Pikachu felt sad for him so he paid for the gamer food out of his own metaforical pockets. They walked outside. Link chugged his Mountain Dew™ in one gulp. After Link calmed down, they both sat down on a bench nearby and figured out what they should do. A lot of thoughts were thunk but no results were made. Out of the blue, Mario walked by. Pikachu stopped him to ask him about Lucina.

"Hey Mario have you seen Lucina?" Pikachu asked. "She is missing and Link's been crying"

"Fuck off I wasn't" said Link.

"Who the shit is Lucina" Mario said confused. He was the first Smash Bros character so he does not remember the new members so well.

Link got an idea. He pulled a photo of Lucina out and handed it to Mario. "Here"

"Ohhh I remember now." Mario answered. "Go to Brawl Street. I saw her there earlier."

"Thanks" Link said as he took the photo back fastly.

"Hey hey there are more polite ways to take photos back young man" Mario said.

"Look bucko this is the only wank material of my waifu I have if I never see her again I will be lost." Link said angrily to Mario.

"Link calm down" Pikachu butted in. "I'm sorry he gets like this, please understand"

They left Mario and walked to the bus stop, Pikachu following Link's lead. Link was still annoyed and Pikachu was determined to get Lucina back if only so he would stop being such a faggot. They approached the bus stop.

Pikachu looked at the bus times. "Ok so it's 9:55 pm and the bus gets here in 5 minutes. Last bus for the night too so we are gonna be stuck in Brawl Street if we take this bus." Pikachu said. "You sure we should do this dude? You don't wanna wait till morning?"

"NO because what if she is being RAPED Pikachu you know everyone is out to ruin my life and take the love of my life away." Link shouted very very angry!

"Don't SHOUT" Pikachu yelled back before composing himself. "So ok that's a yes on the bus taking. I hope she's ok."

Link spoke the quietest he's ever spoken, since his voice usually only has one volume setting and that is loud. "I hope she's ok too."

The two heroes watched as the bus came round the corner. It was time to save Lucina so Link can have sex again. To be continued!


	2. Chapter 2: Battle on the Bus

The bus stopped in front of Link and Pikachu, and the doors swung open. They stepped on. Donkey Kong was driving.

"Oo oo" said Donkey Kong.

"Ok" said Link as he walked and sat down.

"OO OO AH AH" screamed Donkey Kong, looking at Link.

"Shut the fuck up" Link shouted back. "What does he want?"

"Money, probably." Pikachu said. "I spent the last of mine getting you food."

"Well I'M not paying" Link replied, arms crossed defiantly.

Suddenly, Donkey Kong climbed out of his seat and dashed towards Link. Link yelped as Donkey Kong pounced on him and began beating the shit out of him. He was pissed. Pikachu tried to stop the beating but got knocked away by Donkey Kong's Down-B.

"JESUS CHRIST" Pikachu panicked. "DK STOP"

The one other passenger on the bus got up and grabbed Donkey Kong by the tuft of hair on his head, stopping the beating. Link looked up, battered and bruised. He must have been at like 170% damage or something. The passenger handed Donkey Kong 10 dollars, more than enough to pay for Link and Pikachu. Donkey Kong looked satisfied as he snatched the money and went to sit back down.

"Oo." Donkey Kong uttered as he started the engine again. The bus was moving.

The cloaked passenger helped Link into his seat. "Are you ok?"

Link looked up at his saviour, and their eyes made contact. "No", he said. "That fucking hurt"

"Yes well… you are safe now." the passenger said, throwing off his cloak. "I'm Lucario. It's… nice to meet you."

Pikachu ran up to Lucario. "T-thanks, that guy was going apeshit." he said appreciatively. "I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't stepped in like that."

Lucario struck a pose and turned to face the window in an attempt to look cool. "YES well… next time you fellers get in a pickle I… might not be there to help you." he said.

"Mhm" said Pikachu. "Well, it was nice talking to y-"

"SO!" Lucario raised his voice. "You guys are… going to BRAWL STREET..?"

"Yes" Link said firmly. "I have to save my waifu she is lost there"

"Heh. A quest for love." Lucario smirked. "I would do the same for my husbando, Nix."

The bus came to a stop. They had reached Brawl Street at last. The doors swung open, and Pikachu and Link got up out of their seats. Lucario grabbed Link by the shoulder.

"A quest for love triumphs over all obstacles." stated Lucario. "That's why I'm so strong. I do it for my hubby. I would SD for him. He means the world to me."

"Can you fuck off" Link said, shrugging Lucario off to follow Pikachu off the bus.

And so, Link and Pikachu had made it to Brawl Street. They took a good look around. It was certainly bigger than 64 Avenue. Unfortunately, finding Lucina in Brawl Street was going to be as hard as finding Lucina in Brawl Street. Can our heroes find Link's waifu before she is rapped or worse? To be continued in the next chapert.


	3. Chapter 3: Meeting in the Cafe

There they were. Brawl Street. Honestly each street and avenue was a unique place in its own right, and Brawl Street was one of the biggest of them all. Wherever Lucina was, they weren't far from her.

"Lucina" Link whispered. "Hello"

"She can't hear you." Pikachu said.

Link cursed. "Well we've wasted our fucking time haven't we" he said as he stormed off.

"Stop being so pissy." said Pikachu. "For what you were saying on the bus you sure are quick to give up. We can ask around to see if people have seen her."

"K" said Link.

And so, they asked the few people that were still awake wandering the streets at this hour for some reason if they had seen Lucina. It took a while, but they eventually made progress when they met Jigglypuff in a late night cafe. They sat down with her as Link pulled out the picture of Lucina.

"OK so according to sources in the city, you know how to help us" Link said to the pink blob, pulling out the photo. He was hesitant to hand it over, so Pikachu did it for him.

"Ahem…" said Pikachu, sliding the photo over. "Can you identify this waifu?"

Jigglypuff put out her cigarette in the ashtray and picked up the photo. Link of course got defensive about others touching the picture, but Pikachu made sure he didn't get upset about it.

"Hhmm… yeh. Yeh I knowz this broad. Lucina, right?" she asked.

"Yeah! Yeah that's my waifu!" exclaimed Link happily. "You know where she is right"

"Yeh, I sawz her earlier. But fah me tah tell youze, youze is gonna need tah repay me…" Jigglypuff said, leaning in closer towards Link, puckering up.

"How" said Link.

"Take a wild guess, luv." Jigglypuff replied seductively.

Link finally clicked. "Aha! I get what you mean now!"

Link reached into his pocket and pulled out the bag of Doritos™ that Pikachu had bought him earlier (Author's Note: remember chapter 1 when they got gamer snacks? hope you've been taking notes guys this one's going to be on the test). He opened the bag and pulled out a handful of the orange snacks, forcefully shoving them into Jigglypuff's mouth.

"Whfthffuffck?!" Jigglypuff uttered, as she struggled to breathe.

"You looked hungry. Lucky I saved some gamer fuel for you." Link explained.

"Link what the FUCK" Pikachu yelled in disbelief.

Jigglypuff tumbled to the floor, choking to death on tasty Dorito™ snacks. Pikachu just watched, unable to think of anything to do to help. Link sat and did nothing, watching as Jigglypuff's inability to breathe caused her to change into various colours.

"Nice alts" Link said.

Pikachu lost it and shook Link. "This is serious, she's fucking DYING!" he yelled.

"...Oh. Oops lol." shrugged Link.

"Not 'Oops', This means NO LEADS FOR LUCINA, you idiot!"

"FUCK" screamed Link, as he dived to the floor in order to help Jigglypuff. He pulled off a half-assed Heimlich Maneuver to get the gamer snacks out of her. Surprisingly, it worked. But Jigglypuff was pretty much dying anyway.

"Uffgh… ya fuckin' insane! I wanted tah kiss ya, I wasn't *cough* fuckin' hungry!" coughed Jigglypuff, still choking a bit.

"What get over yourself I would never kiss you" Link said.

Pikachu sighed. "Fuck's sake, Link."

"...Ok." Link reconsidered. "I would kiss you if you told me where Lucina is"

Jigglypuff coughed, her voice growing weak. "...The library. She… she hangz out there. Now… howz about that kiss, eh?"

Unfortunately, Link was already heading for the door. Pikachu hesitantly followed.

"Yeah sorry but not yet" Link replied. "I need to check this library and see if you're lying or not. If she's actually there I'll come back and give you your kiss ok? Ok"

And he never did.

That doesn't necessarily mean Jigglypuff was lying, of course. Link's just a dick. Will Jigglypuff ever get proper medical attention? Nope! Will Lucina be at the library as expected? Maybe, maybe not! Find out next time. To be continued. Tune in next week.


	4. Chapter 4: Shh (The Library Chapter)

**Chapter 4**

Link and Pikachu arrived at the library. It was really, really quiet. And empty. And also quiet.

"LUCY-KINS? WHERE ARE YOU?!" Link screamed at the top of his lungs, earning him a hard slap in the face from Pikachu.

"Quiet, asshole!" Pikachu said.

As they looked around the library, they soon began to realize it really was empty. There wasn't a librarian in sight. Don't be surprised, it's only fucking midnight. And yet, the library was still unlocked when our heroes came across it.

Pikachu yawned, which prompted Link to deliver unto him a swift kick in the ass.

"OUCH, WHAT THE HELL?" cried Pikachu.

"Doesn't feel so good does it shitlord? Now stay awake we have to find Lucina."

Pikachu sighed. "Look, why don't we look for her tomorrow? Find somewhere to stay tonight."

The two turned a corner as Pikachu said this to see a blue haired person reading books. The person was beautiful. Their hair was stunning. Link tapped them on the shoulder.

Sonic turned around and roundhouse kicked Link into a bookshelf, causing it to topple over and hit him. Pikachu worriedly ran to Link's aid.

"Sorry buddy but when you sneak up on Sonic like that, that's what you get WHOA" said Sonic.

Pikachu helped a knocked-out Link to his feet. "Whatever. My friend thought you were Lucina. Have you seen her?"

Sonic looked confused, so Pikachu pried the photo loose from Link's tightly gripped hand and showed it to the hedgehog. Sonic actually seemed to recognize it!

"Heyyy yeah she was here earlier!" Sonic said. "She went into the hotel across the road after she was done looking at her gay nerd books, wa-hey!"

"Really?" Pikachu's eyes lit up. "Thank you so much!"

Sonic gave a thumbs up as Pikachu dragged Link towards the library's exit. He got tired quickly, and resorted to thundershocking Link back into consciousness so he could walk on his own.

Link sat up, glaring at Pikachu. "Oh what are you so fucking happy about."

"We did it, man." Pikachu smiled. "We found Lucina. Sonic saw her leave to go to the hotel!"

Link cried manly tears of joy. Pikachu let him have a moment before leading the way outside. The two looked in awe at the large, fancy hotel across the street. They marched triumphantly across the road and over to the front entrance, bursting through and casually walking up to the reception desk, which Zelda was behind.

"...Don't I know you?" Zelda asked, eyeing up Link.

Link shook his head. "I sure fucking hope not. Ugly cow"

Zelda punched Link square in the face, giving him a nosebleed. Pikachu sighed.

"Excuse my dipshit friend." Pikachu said. "Do you happen to know if there is a 'Lucina' staying at your hotel?"

"Who?" Zelda asked.

"Seriously? Does nobody know her name around here?" Pikachu complained. He was about to reach for the photo, until he realized he'd left it in Sonic's hands.

"Shit." he said aloud. He turned to Link. "Left the photo with Sonic."

Turning back to Zelda, Pikachu began to describe Lucina's features to her anyway. There aren't many blue haired residents here, who needs a picture?

...Link, apparently. Zelda had just told Pikachu that a woman matching his description was staying in room 609, but before Pikachu could relay the good news to Link, he realized he was missing. Pikachu dashed out of the door to see the blond faggot hurrying into the library, screaming his head off.

"GIVE ME BACK MY PHOTO YOU SPINY BLUE FUCK!" he cried, because obviously why find the real Lucina when you can have a photograph instead? Clever thinking, Hero of Time!

Pikachu ran after Link, picking up the pace after seeing him draw his sword upon entering the library. Pikachu's eyes widened. He didn't want there to be another fucking casualty, especially in the space of half an hour. At this rate, Link was going to murder everyone on Brawl Street before reuniting with Lucina!

"God. Fucking. Damnit. Link."


	5. Chapter 5: Nickelback - Photograph

Link let out a mighty scream upon entering the library before running around swinging his sword at bookcases. He would pry that picture from Sonic's cold dead hands if he had to. Asking politely was out of the question.

"SHOW YOURSELF" he screeched as he looked around the library.

It was still quiet, as a library should be at night. Sonic was obviously hiding from him, the wanker. At this moment, Pikachu burst through the doors and tackled Link.

"Alright, where'd you put the body? We can hide it before anyone finds ou-"

"Shut up I haven't found him yet" Link interrupted, standing back up. "We can think about that part later"

"No. You're not killing him, we're getting the photo and heading to the hotel."

At that moment, Link noticed some blue hair sticking up from behind a bookcase. Link motioned for Pikachu to keep quiet, as the two sneaked over to the bookcase. Link peeked over the bookcase to see Sonic touching himself to the photo of Lucina. Link screamed at Sonic, and Sonic screamed back.

"WHOAA man! Give me some privacy will ya?" Sonic said, panicked.

"GIVE ME BACK MY PHOTO RIGHT FUCKING NOW" Link yelled, slicing the bookcase in half with his sword which I forgot to mention was still drawn and very much dangerous. Sonic jumped back, photo still in hand.

"What's your problem man?!" Sonic asked, zipping up the fly on his jeans.

"YOU!" Link answered. "How DARE you do that with my waifu's photo?!"

"I'm sorry man I haven't had any poontang for months, give me a break!" replied Sonic, backing away slowly. "D-didn't you find her anyway? Lucina… in the hotel?"

"He didn't check." clarified Pikachu.

Link didn't even try to explain himself to Sonic. Blue balls didn't deserve an explanation. Justice had to be served. Link raised his sword, and sliced at Sonic's chest. It didn't wound him, but it made Sonic cough up rings and flicker in and out of existence, as he does.

"I'm gonna cut you and slice you until you're all outta rings shitface" Link growled.

Before Link could attack again, he was tackled by Pikachu for the second time that night.

"GOD DAMNIT you party pooper" Link yelled.

"Oh, shut up." Pikachu said, walking over to Sonic. "Hand over the photo. Please. He won't leave without it."

Sonic reluctantly handed the photo to Pikachu, who handed it to Link. Link stared in awe at the photo he was reunited with, as Pikachu headed for the exit. It took a while for Link to snap out of his awe, but he followed behind Pikachu when he did.

Sonic, left alone in the library, headed back to the porn section where the heroes first found him.

Back to the characters that actually matter, Pikachu and Link entered the hotel once again. Link flashed the picture to Zelda.

"I got it back." he said, pleased with himself.

"Mm." Zelda responded, clearly uninterested.

Link and Pikachu took the stairs to get to the 6th floor because Link was scared of the elevator.

Upon getting to the 6th floor, they didn't have to walk far before they found Lucina's room. Room 609.

"Well, this is her room." Pikachu said. "Let's not stand here talking about how we finally found her and just open the door, okay?"

"k" Link replied as Pikachu opened the door.

As the door swung open, the two saw something they definitely were not expecting. A large circular symbol with what looked like a pentagram in the middle was carved into the floor. The pentagram wasn't any ordinary pentagram, as it had a distinct design relating to smash balls that I can't be bothered to describe here. Nobody was in the room, but it was filled with books. Pikachu and Link stepped inside cautiously, and Pikachu took a closer look at the books. They contained unholy information on necromancy and opening portals. There was also a book full of funny memes which Link enjoyed thoroughly.

Back to all this weird shit though, Link and Pikachu both had a hard time processing it.

"Link… you don't think Lucina is behind all of this, do you?" Pikachu asked.

"shit" replied Link. "my waifu's a satanist"


	6. Chapter 6: Shitty Ghost Town

Our two heroes, recovering from the shock of seeing all this satanic voodoo looking shit in Lucina's hotel room, began to examine the situation. Pikachu looked at one of the open books on the floor, flipping through the pages with great difficulty with his tiny useless hands. He stopped on a page depicting a pentagram identical to the one on the floor.

"That was easy!" Pikachu remarked. "Looks like the pentagram created here is nothing more than a portal from one place to another. Not sure where it leads, though."

Link crossed his arms. "Bitch coulda hopped on Epona with me, I'd take her anywhere. didn't have to go and learn this necromancy bullshit."

"There's probably another reason." replied Pikachu. "I'm starting to think there are lots of things about Lucina we don't know…"

"HOE CHEATING ON ME?" Link screamed in a burst of confused anger.

Pikachu attempted to calm him down. "Don't jump to conclusions. That's getting to be a problem. The only way we're gonna find out is if we hop into this portal and see where it takes us. Okay?"

"O-okay." Tears streamed down Link's face as he made eye contact with Pikachu. "I think Wario's here, his onions are making me cry."

"Wario likes garlic. Not onions." explained Pikachu.

"So?" Link sniffled. "Doesn't mean he doesn't own any onions!"

Pikachu threw up his arms in disbelief. "Whatever." he said, abandoning the argument. "Come on, we've wasted too much time. Let's find out what's on the other side of the portal."

They both stepped into the center of the penta-portal thingamajig, and were engulfed in a bright light. They should have been afraid, but they weren't. Only the flames of determination were in their eyes, or some gay bullshit like that. What I'm saying is that they were ready.

Link and Pikachu opened their eyes to a familiar view. A pixellated sky and buildings with thick outlines. Yes, this was none other than Super Smash Bros. for 3DS Town, a forgotten relic inhabited only by the poor and shady. Ever since Super Smash Bros. for Wii U City opened up, this place had become a ghost town. Link and Pikachu had visited here once before while taking a ride on the Spirit Train, but their memory of it was vague.

"Man, this place looks awful. Why would Lucina want to come here?" Pikachu questioned.

"That is what I would like to know" Link said sternly. "How can this place possibly be more interesting than my bedroom?"

They wandered around the desolate little town, checking inside each building they came across, but to no avail. They didn't find anyone.

"Lucina baby! Come back to me!" Link yelled, waiting for a response that never came.

"Link, just stop. I don't think she's here. Knowing our luck she made the portal and never went through it." Pikachu concluded, heading back the way they came.

Link was about to shout once more, but realized Pikachu was probably right and followed behind him. As the two made it back to area with the portal, they stared forward in shock. There was a gigantic building not too far from the portal, which they had never noticed because they forgot to look behind them upon being teleported here.

"Oh." They said, in perfect sync.

After they had realized their stupidity, Link and Pikachu headed towards the large building. It looked like a headquarters of some sorts. Though I'm just saying that because that's what it is. Who cares, it's an important-looking building. As they entered through the double-doored entrance, a shadow emerged from behind a building quite far away.

"Hee hee hee!" the mysterious figure laughed gayly. He pulled out a mobile phone, and quickly dialled a number, putting the phone to his ear as the person on the other end picked up.

"Hey, boss. The hero of time and the yellow rat have fallen for our trap. Things are going according to plan, hee hee!"

The voice on the other end spoke up. "Ness? What are you talking about? ...Whatever, I deposited $837 into your bank account."

"D-DAD?" the not-so-mysterious figure panicked. "I didn't mean to call you! Aw, crud, now everyone knows who I am!"

"Are you taking breaks regularly? It's good to work hard, but not too hard." replied Ness' dad, before promptly hanging up.

Ness growled and called his boss as he intended to, telling of the plan being a success and all that shit. The boss seemed pleased, probably. Just what is in store for our two heroes? What was this building they had just entered?! Where was Lucina?!

beats me


	7. Chapter 7: Cellbound

It was dreadfully quiet inside the large building. Not for ominous reasons, more because it's past midnight. The walls were black, with a long red carpet covering the hallway floor. Various doors were on each side. Link and Pikachu walked through the main hall, being careful not to make too much noise. At least, Pikachu was being careful. Link checked inside each room they came across, hoping to see Lucina inside. The rooms all seemed to be empty bedrooms.

Pikachu watched Link close yet another door, having found nothing of interest. "No luck, huh?" Pikachu said, yawning. "Looks like this building might be empty as well."

Link couldn't help but yawn as well. "Probably. Fuck my life" he said, stretching his arms out.

Of course there was still more of the building to explore, but both of our heroes were exhausted. Finding Lucina would have to wait. Pikachu reopened the door Link had just closed, jumping onto one of the beds inside. Link wanted to object, but he was tired too. He and Pikachu went to sleep (in separate beds, fyi for all u shipping fucks).

When they awoke, they awoke in a jail cell. It was quite a surprise. But not to the viewer, because you knew from Ness in the last chapter that they were walking into a trap.

"FUCK MY LIFE" Link screamed, before noticing someone stood outside the cell. It was Ness.

"Hee hee hee! Good morning, you pitiful fools!" Ness laughed. "It appears you have walked right into our little tra-"

"Have you seen my waifu?" Link interrupted, flashing the Lucina photo at him.

Ness grinned. "Oh, yes. Yes I have. But you're never going to see her again, Hero of Time."

"WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO" yelled Link.

Ness was finding it hard to act smug when he was being yelled at like this. His childish impulses told him to scream back, but he composed himself to keep the illusion of maturity. "Don't yell. Answers will come in time." He spoke, adjusting his baseball cap. "Now, Hero of Time. Yellow rat. There is a reason you are here."

"Ugh… is it because we slept in your bed or something?" Pikachu asked.

"No." Ness replied. "But we'll probably penalize you for that, that was Fox's bed."

Pikachu questioned Ness. "Fox's? Who's 'we'? Who are you? What is this place for?"

Ness smiled. "As I said, I will answer your questions in time. For now, I will tell you why you're here."

"Will you let us out" Link asked hopefully.

"OH MAN YOU'RE FUNNY, HERO OF TIME!" Ness said, laughing out loud. "But no. You're not getting out, let me finish what I was saying. Okay, so basically everyone in Smashland hates you, Hero of Time. You too for hanging out with him, rat."

"Oh that's bullshit people love me" Link retorted.

Ness could only chuckle at Link. "Ha, you'd like to think so, wouldn't you? No. You're detestable, you scream all the time, and nobody finds you funny. Now with Lucina gone, we have finally been able to lure you out of your home to get rid of you."

":(" Link replied.

"Wait, hold on a second…" said Pikachu. "Is… is everyone in on this? Mario? Jigglypuff? Even Sonic?"

"Nah, Jigglypuff genuinely liked you guys until you nearly killed her and never came back for her. Mario saved her life and she repaid him by joining our organization." Ness responded. "She might hate you more than anyone else here!"

"damn" Link cursed.

"I refuse to believe everyone hates us." said Pikachu, arms folded.

"Believe what you want, hee hee!" Ness giggled. "Might as well in your final moments."

Ness left the room, leaving Link and Pikachu to figure out what was going on. It was tough to accept, that this wild goose chase for Lucina had been elaborately orchestrated by every other character in a team. Link and Pikachu both doubted this was a group effort. It was clear _someone _hated them enough to set this up. Nevertheless, it didn't matter now. They were stuck.

Pikachu attempted to gnaw through the bars, but to no avail. Link just sat in the center of the cell, staring at the picture of Lucina.

"What do you think happens next." Link said.

"I have no idea, man." replied Pikachu.

(Of course I have an idea because I'm the author so stay tuned for more smash bro!)


	8. Chapter 8: Hell's Kitchen (Part 1)

Our two sorta-heroes sat in silence, waiting. A good few hours passed. And then a few more hours passed as well. It took its sweet time, but their 'final moments', as Ness put it, had finally arrived. Whirring could be heard from outside their cell, and it was getting louder as whatever this thing was approached them. It was none other than R.O.B., and he was here to fucking destroy them maybe!

"Greetings! I am the Robotic Operating Buddy, and I will be your executioner today." R.O.B. stated, before unlocking the cell door and attaching handcuffs to Link and Pikachu. "Please prepare for death as I prepare my devastating lasers."

Link and Pikachu looked at each other, and then made a dash for the exit. Pikachu's handcuffs slipped right off of his stubby little arms in the process. As they ran, Pikachu also removed Link's handcuffs, making R.O.B.'s efforts pointless.

"Oh, balls." said R.O.B. disappointedly. He cancelled charging his lasers, and activated his communications device to call Ness.

"R.O.B.!" An excited Ness said on the other side. "That was a speedy execution! Nice work."

"The execution was unsuccessful." R.O.B. replied. "The prisoners have escaped."

Ness paused. "...What. How did… how did this happen?!" he shouted.

"They were very fast." explained R.O.B.

Ness sighed. "You useless piece of shit, remind me to scrap you later."

"Setting reminder for Master Ness." R.O.B. beeped. "Reminder has been set for the afternoon."

"Whatever." Ness said, annoyed. He hung up on R.O.B., and began to make another phone call. He was sat inside his own little office in the building, and had a different change of clothes from when we last saw him. He wore a black military general uniform with a red armband on his left arm. The armband had a white circle on it with the Smash Ball logo in black printed on it. He wasn't wearing his baseball cap, but instead, a black general cap with the Smash Ball logo on it. He was pretty much a Smash Nazi or some shit. Someone answered his phone call.

"Ayup, Ness!" said the voice on the other side. "Whaddaya need?"

"R.O.B. failed to kill the prisoners we were keeping captive. Tremendously. They're on the loose in the building somewhere." Ness explained. "I need you to take them out. You're my Plan B, Kirby. Are you up for it?"

"I'll see what I can do, mate." replied Kirby, hanging up.

Back to our kinda-heroes, they were running around the building aimlessly with no idea where the exit was. I mean, it was a pretty big building.

"What the hell's with all these corridors?" Pikachu panted, exhausted from running. "Why would you need all this space, just what is being conducted here?"

"Waifu killing!" Link yelled. "Waifu killing and Link shaming! Big business! Out to get ME!"

"C'mon... that can't be all." replied Pikachu.

"You're right that's not all. They're out to get you as well." Link said. "But me more"

"No, I mean this whole gigantic building… it can't be completely dedicated to stopping us, can it?" questioned Pikachu. "That's ridiculous. There's another purpose."

Before Link could respond, Pikachu was whacked on the head with a frying pan. He fell to the floor, writhing in agony. The wielder of the frying pan tried to hit Link as well, but he dodged the attack just in time. Link drew his sword as Pikachu sat up, rubbing his head.

"Hey that was uncalled for" said Link.

The attacker chuckled to himself. "You're pretty agile, for a retard."

"What'd you say" Link said angrily, raising his sword. "Bitch I'll cut you"

The attacker emerged from the shadows. It was Kirby, one of Ness' subordinates!

"Hah, Ness told me you're a funny one. But funny time's over. Gotta do my job."

Link rushed at Kirby and attempted to slash him, but a big golden pot materialized in front of Kirby and blocked the attack. Link bounced back in shock.

"The fuck kind of witchcraft was that?!" he screamed.

Kirby giggled an evil giggle. "It's not witchcraft, mate. It's the power of my stand, Hell's Kitchen!"

"What in shit's name is a stand" asked Link.

"You… you know. Stands. Like in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure." said Kirby. "Never seen Jojo?"

"He's more into romantic comedies." Pikachu piped up.

"Wow. Shit taste mate." said Kirby to Link.

"Hey how about you shut up okay" Link said, defending that shit taste of his. "So what is this stand bullshit"

"Stands are basically like fighting spirits with unique abilities and stuff." Pikachu said. "But only certain people have them."

"Okay so do I have one" Link asked.

"Uhh… I don't know. I think it'll activate when you're in great danger or something." said Pikachu.

Kirby lunged at Link, firmly gripping his frying pan. "Let me help you with that, then!" Kirby was quick, but luckily Link dodged the attack.

"Knock it off douchebag!" Link yelled.

"Come on!" laughed Kirby. "Let's see that stand of yours… if you have one!"

All Link could do was dodge Kirby's swings. Any time he tried to attack, the impenetrable Hell's Kitchen would block him. Link was panicking. He had never heard of stands before in his life. How was he supposed to deal with this? He could fight back if he had a stand of his own…

Suddenly, one of the three triforce marks on Link's glove started glowing. Was this… his stand? Was this his stand calling for him?

He stopped in his tracks, showing the back of his hand to Kirby, who took caution and stopped.

"Now then" announced Link. "Stand! ACTIVATE!"

Kirby pointed and laughed. "That's not how you activate a stand! You're such a retar-"

Link began glowing, and the spirit of his sword rose up into the air, growing into an enormous size behind him. Link realized the power of his stand as he felt the energy flow through his body.

Link pointed and laughed at Kirby, who could only look on in awe. "Fucking sweet huh" Link said. "This is the power of _my_ stand, Courage! But that's gay, so I'm just gonna call it Big Ass Ghost Sword ok"

Kirby and Link ran at each other. A battle between stands was about to begin!


	9. Chapter 9: Hell's Kitchen (Part 2)

Link and Kirby's stands clashed. Link's Big Ass Ghost Sword wasn't quite strong enough to destroy Hell's Kitchen, but it was making rather deep marks in it. Stands are connected to your body in a spiritual way, so the damage being inflicted on Kirby's stand was being transferred to him. Kirby wasn't going to be able to hold out forever.

Seeing no other option, Kirby decided to go all out with his stand. Hell's Kitchen materialized fully, and became like a solid object as it landed on the ground with a thud. The water inside it started bubbling and boiling. Kirby smirked as he donned his chef's hat. Link stepped back, unsure of what Kirby was playing at.

"Scary" Link said. "What are you gonna do throw hot food at me lmao"

"Funny, but no." Kirby grinned. "You're going to become hot food, mate!"

Kirby opened his abnormally large mouth and inhaled Link, who screamed as he was being sucked in. Kirby leapt up and spat Link out into the big golden pot that was his stand.

"SHIT SHIT THAT BURNS" Link yelped from inside the pot.

"Try to get comfortable. You're going to become Link soup!" announced Kirby, preparing his cooking tools.

Pikachu dashed at Kirby, headbutting him and making him drop his shit.

"Oh, fuck you!" cursed Kirby, preparing his frying pan. "I guess that soup will have to wait."

"I'm not letting you make a delicious meal out of my friend!" Pikachu growled as he charged at Kirby. Kirby quickly evaded, and raised his frying pan over Pikachu's head.

"Good luck stopping me without a stand, moron." Kirby chuckled, bringing down the pan.

Pikachu stopped the frying pan with his bare, electrically charged hand. "Hey hey, who said I didn't have a stand?"

Kirby whimpered as a huge surge of electricity blasted the frying pan out of his hands and sent it far, far away. Pikachu delivered a devastating thunder punch into Kirby's surprised face, sending him flying.

With that over, Pikachu returned to the pot, and looked inside it. To Pikachu's surprise, Link was actually pretty relaxed.

"Jeez, Link. Doesn't that burn?" asked Pikachu.

"Nah you get used to it. Kinda like a hot tub" Link replied. "So you had a stand this whole time huh"

"Yeah, Volt Tackle. Big ball of electricity I can control." responded Pikachu. "Never used it much though, this is the first time I've had to fight properly."

"Get used to it then" Link said, climbing out of Hell's Kitchen. "Cos we're gonna fucking fight everyone until we find my waifu!"

"Damn, you're confident. Alright, let's do it!" Pikachu said, heading for the direction he sent Kirby. Link followed, soaking wet and leaving puddles behind him.

They walked through the wide hallways, searching for where Kirby might have gone. The Hell's Kitchen stand never vanished, which meant Kirby still had a bit of fight left in him. Plus, they didn't want him to fetch backup. Weirdly, there was no sign of him, and they had reached a dead end. Locked double doors. With no other option, they headed back the way they came. When they reached the wide hallway area they had fought Kirby in, they saw that Hell's Kitchen had vanished.

"What the..." Pikachu uttered, confused. "The pot was just here… did Kirby give up, or..?"

Just then, the giant golden pot smacked Pikachu in the head, knocking him unconscious. Link looked behind them to see a heavily injured Kirby, who had just resorted to throwing his stand at them.

"HAHAHAHA! You're fucking dead, lads!" wailed Kirby.

"Oh give it a rest will you" Link sighed, summoning his stand once more. Kirby's guard was down, so he took the opportunity to slice at Kirby with his stand. Blood shot from Kirby as his grin turned to a frown. He collapsed.

"Fuck's sake." Kirby cried in agony.

Link ignored him and walked over to Pikachu. A good, violent shake from Link returned Pikachu to consciousness.

"Wuh… what happ.. did.. did you get him?" asked Pikachu, still waking up.

"I wrecked the cheeky sod" Link proclaimed proudly, pointing to Kirby, who was cursing in pain. "Think we should finish him off or nah?"

"Nah." Pikachu said, getting up. "If Mario fixed up Jigglypuff as Ness said, he can fix up Kirby. If he bleeds out though, he bleeds out. Guy's a dick anyway."

"Woah that's brutal of you to say" Link said, surprised. "I agree though fuck him"

The two headed down a different hallway, continuing their search for an exit. Little did they know, they were being followed by someone. Someone who had been watching the fight. Someone who had been made to emerge at this very moment just because I needed a cliffhanger. Stay tuned I guess.


	10. Chapter 10: The Truth About Your Waifu

Link cursed as he and Pikachu reached another locked door. Not even Big Ass Ghost Sword could break these locks. What were these people trying to hide? As they turned around to go down yet another hallway, they ran into someone who had been following them, catching them in the act. It was Captain Falcon!

Pikachu growled, starting to store electricity. "Hey, what do you think you're doing? Have you been following us?"

"Good grief, relax." said Captain Falcon, shaking his head. "I simply wanted to congratulate you on defeating Kirby. Your fighting skills are impressive, the both of you."

"Oh… that all?" asked Pikachu. "Well, thanks. I guess."

"I'm also supposed to capture you and take you to our leader, in the event that Kirby falls. And Kirby has indeed fallen." the Captain explained.

"I should have known." Pikachu said, sighing. "Doesn't matter, we can take yo-"

"You misunderstand!" interrupted the Captain. "That _was _my job, but after seeing your stands in action I greatly respect your ability, and have decided to switch sides. I'll help you get out of here."

"Hold on tho" Link said as the Captain started leading the way. He pulled out his Lucina photograph. "I do wanna leave but I gotta find my waifu in here. Is she in here? Plz help"

Captain Falcon looked at the photograph. "Lucina is your waifu?" he said, visibly surprised.

"Ye" Link said. "She up and disappeared one day and me and my buddy have been looking everywhere for her but we can't find her and it's REALLY STUPID"

The Captain stood still in thought for a moment, before handing the photograph back to Link. "Kid, you should forget about finding your waifu." he replied.

"I WOULD NEVER" yelled Link. Pikachu tried to calm him down.

"And why's that?" Pikachu asked, intrigued. "You… seem to know her."

Captain Falcon paused, keeping his head down. "Yes…" he responded.

"You know something don't you? Is she okay? Please, tell us!" begged Pikachu.

"I hate to break this to the both of you, but… Lucina… ungh… Lucina... is our boss!" said Captain Falcon with great difficulty.

"Wait, what?!" jumped Pikachu. Link said nothing, unable to find the words to speak.

"She organized this whole operation herself." said the Captain. "Hero of Time… you are the 'husbando' she speaks of, correct?"

"...Thats me" Link said quietly.

"You didn't notice anything out of the ordinary during your time with her?" asked Captain Falcon. "I mean, this whole organization has been in the works for at least a few months now."

"She did sneak off a lot on non-snoo snoo nights…" said Link.

"You… didn't see a problem with that?" questioned the Captain.

"She can go out n shag who she wants as long as she comes back to my bed in time for morning" said Link, shrugging. "Didnt think she'd be plotting against me tho"

"Despite what Ness may have told you, she's not plotting against you _specifically_." explained Captain Falcon. "It's more of a take-over-the-universe deal, with every smasher in town wanting a delicious slice of taken-over-universe cake. You two are quite a big obstacle to that."

"That… that explains the portal in her hotel room." Pikachu sighed, rubbing his head. "And all those dark magic books she rented from the library."

"Yeah." Captain Falcon replied, as he pulled out his iPhone to check the time. "Damn, we've been talking a while. It's about time we got out of here, before we get caught."

"Wait, what should we do about seeing Lucina?" Pikachu spoke up.

"Forget about it. If you try to get to Lucina, you'll have near enough the entire roster to deal with." explained the Captain. "They were all given powerful stands. You'll die immediately if you try to get to her lair."

Link and Pikachu both agreed on not wanting to die, so they followed Captain Falcon, as he led the way to the exit. Unfortunately, their conversation had not gone unheard. With Kirby bleeding out and practically missing in action, Ness being aware of their presence, and security cameras everywhere, it'd be a bit surprising if no one heard their conversation. Ness was sure something was up when Kirby didn't answer his walkie talkie, so he had gone to investigate the corridors himself. And that's when he overheard the Captain giving away vital information.

The gang left the building and were once again greeted by the cold, dead air of Super Smash Bros. for 3DS Town. Little did they know, they had been followed.

"Here we are back in this shithole" Link sighed.

"Trust me, it's safer out here than it is in there." replied the Captain. Just then, blood exploded from Captain Falcon's right arm. He had been shot!

Ness emerged from the giant building. "Well, well, well! Captain Falcon!" Ness said, walking over with a smug grin on his face. "Didn't think you'd just up and betray us like that! Honestly, I'm disappointed in you."

Link and Pikachu prepared their stands, as Captain Falcon clutched his right arm, keeping pressure on his wound as he too summoned his stand.

Ness chuckled. "Oh, you're going to fight me, are you? Pfft. Your Attitude City can't hold a candle to my Too Cool For School, and you know it."

Captain Falcon's Attitude City materialized beside him. It was basically a gigantic, ghostly, solid gold version of himself. The Captain turned to Link and Pikachu. "You two. I want you to get out of here right now. Don't worry about me."

"aight" said Link. He and Pikachu fled the scene, leaving the Captain on his own.

"Oh." said Captain Falcon. "Thought they'd at least hesitate or say something like, 'We won't leave without you!'"

"Looks like you betrayed us for nothing, huh? Bet you feel stupid now." replied Ness.

"No." responded the Captain. "Because of me, those brave warriors will live to fight another day. And on another day is when they will be strong enough to take you, the boss, and this whole sorry operation down!"

Ness just laughed at him. "This is because the boss won't promote you, isn't it?"

"...N-NO!" the Captain hesitated. "...Maybe. Shut up! That is not what's important! What's important is that I'm now fighting for justice! I, Douglas J. Falcon, will be the one to judge you!"

"That's nice." said Ness, as his stand materialized. It was an army of soldiers resembling Nazis, wearing a similar uniform to Ness. Their red armbands had the Smash Ball logo on them, just like the armband Ness wore. They raised their rifles at Captain Falcon. "Too bad you won't be fighting for anything in moment."

All at once, the soldiers that made up Ness' stand rapidly fired at the Captain. Attitude City was built to punch the shit out of things, but with this many targets it just couldn't focus. Within moments, Captain Falcon dropped to the floor, riddled with bullet holes. Ness' stand vanished, having done its job. He kicked the Captain's lifeless body over, so he was laying on his back. Dead as a corpse. Ness looked out into the distance, but Link and Pikachu were nowhere to be seen. They were too far away now.

Ness walked back to the building. There are agents all over the city in case Link and Pikachu cause any trouble, and he knew they'd be back here at some point. Seeing no reason to follow them, Ness headed inside and closed the doors.


	11. Chapter 11: Donkey Kong's Dimension

it was 93 minutes past 10. Link and Pikachu had finally left Super Smash Bros. for 3DS Town, and were just in time for the bus. The area was eerily empty. The bus doors swung open, and they hopped on. Donkey Kong was driving once again, giving them the evils. As they walked to the back of the bus, they saw the familiar face of Lucario. They sat down a few seats away from him, but it didn't stop him from chatting to them.

"We meet again, my friends." Lucario said with a cheeky grin.

Pikachu sighed. "So what do you do, just ride buses all day every day?"

"Not at all!" replied Lucario, folding his arms. "I also like to ride my husbando, Nix. Boy oh boy, he squeals like a pig when I-"

"STOP!" yelled Pikachu. At that very moment, the bus stopped. Donkey Kong turned his head 180 degrees to face him, staring right into his soul. "Uhh, I didn't mean stop the bus. I was talking to this guy…" explained Pikachu, pointing to Lucario.

Donkey Kong got out of his seat and stomped towards Pikachu. He grabbed Pikachu by one arm and whispered softly into his ear.

"oo"

"What do you want?" Pikachu said confused, before realizing what Donkey Kong wanted. "Oh, I know what you want. Shit."

"what does he want" asked Link.

"What he wants is money." replied Pikachu. "We… forgot to pay him again, I think."

"god damnit" said Link. "well i've got fuck all in my wallet"

"Me neither…" Pikachu responded, before turning to Donkey Kong. "Look, man. We're totally broke. If you get us to Brawl Street or something, we can pick up some money from an ATM and pay you! Though that's our destination anyway, but…"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed Donkey Kong furiously at the top of his lungs. He started glowing, and his eyes turned red like BLOOOOOD.

"Heh. Should have come prepared with some dough." chuckled Lucario darkly. "I saved you fellers last time, but clearly you didn't learn your lesson. So I shall leave you to suffer at the hands of Donkey Kong's stand…"

"oh every fucker has a stand in smash bros now don't they" Link said grumpily.

"Indeed! You can thank our great leader, Lucina, for that!" replied Lucario. "And Donkey Kong's is absolutely devastating. Show them, DK!"

Donkey Kong ooed in response, which we can assume meant 'okay' because he nodded his head. The large handsome ape reached out for Link, grabbing him by his leg. Now, both of our kinda-heroes were in Donkey Kong's grip! The first member of the DK Crew began glowing even more intensely, as he banished Link and Pikachu to another dimension. Donkey Kong fell floor in a vegetative state as Lucario sat and waited. The bus is going to be pretty boring from now on, so let's take a look at the Donkey Dimension, where our protagonists have been sent to. In the Donkey Dimension, Donkey Kong was god. Donkey Kong was eternal.

Link and Pikachu awoke to find themselves in a very budget looking jungle. Horrible gradients and limited polygons everywhere; it looked like a jungle level from some obscure N64 game you'd find in the bargain bin. Or Bubsy 3D. Despite being utterly confused, the two began to explore. As soon as they did, they both slipped on something, landing on their asses. Donkey Kong's face appeared in the sky, laughing at them.

"WELCOME TO THE DIMENSION OF MY STAND, DANCE BANANA!" roared Donkey Kong. "THE FLOOR OF THIS DIMENSION IS LITTERED WITH BANANA PEELS, AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND THE EXIT BECAUSE YOU WILL TRIP ON A BANANA PEEL WITH EVERY STEP! HA HA HA HA HA!"

"oh fuck!" yelled Link.

Link and Pikachu tried to explore the area, but they kept slipping on those gosh darn banana peels! This went on for about half an hour.

Pikachu began to lose hope. "This is a devastating stand. I don't think we're going to make it out here with our asses unscathed.." he said, defeated.

"this is the shittiest stand in existence." cried Link. "who would even want this as their power"

"FUCK YOU!" yelled Donkey Kong.

"face it your stand sucks! you know, my stand's a big ass ghost sword. it's awesome. i call it Big Ass Ghost Sword." Link boasted.

"THAT'S… THAT'S COOL." replied Donkey Kong.

"Oh yeah! Mine's Volt Tackle." said Pikachu. "It's a ball of electricity I can control remotely, and it has a really impressive range!"

"U-UH-HUH. THAT'S NICE." said Donkey Kong. "YOU'RE STILL TRAPPED HERE FOREVER THOUGH, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?"

"hmm. pikachu i have an idea." Link whispered to Pikachu, ignoring Donkey Kong's booming voice.

"HEY C'MON DON'T WHISPER." Donkey Kong moaned, as Link and Pikachu quietly discussed their plans. "ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?"

Link and Pikachu finished whispering about their plans. Link summoned Big Ass Ghost Sword, and Pikachu summoned Volt Tackle. They combined the power of their stands, by engulfing Big Ass Ghost Sword in Volt Tackle's electricity. With Link and Pikachu's willpower, they launched the sword right into Donkey Kong's face. The sky shattered, and Donkey Kong's massive, disembodied head came crashing down. The dimension started fading away, and before they knew it, Link and Pikachu were back on the bus. Donkey Kong was still out, dead probably.

"that was close" said Link, wiping sweat off of his brow.

"Yeah." replied Pikachu. "Being honest, that might be one of the most dangerous stands in existence. If it weren't for that lucky combination attack we have at our disposal, we might have been trapped forever, doomed to spend eternity slipping and hurting our asses."

"let's not think about that outcome" responded Link, to which Pikachu nodded in agreement.

Lucario was still sat in his seat, and his jaw was wide open in shock. "How did you defeat Donkey Kong's stand? I crossed Donkey Kong once, and was sent to his dimension…" said Lucario. "All that slipping made my ass more sore than when Nix likes to put his-"

"I SAID FUCKING STOP" Pikachu screamed. "JESUS FUCK YOU'RE ANNOYING"

"chill bro" said Link.

Lucario stood up silently. "You have interrupted me for the last time. It is time for my stand to teach you a lesson…" Lucario said, glowing blue.

"Ahhh, shit…" Pikachu sighed.

"PUPPIES IN SPACE! COME FORTH!" announced Lucario, raising his arms into the air. The three of them stood in silence for a minute or so, as Lucario waited patiently.

"is something supposed to happen" asked Link.

"Y-yes!" stuttered Lucario. "My stand summons puppies in space, and then it sends them shooting down towards the planet so they can come fight by my side. It just might take a while for them to get here."

"Are they special puppies?" questioned Pikachu.

"No… No, just normal puppies." Lucario replied.

"Wait, so if they're just normal puppies, and they're being shot to the planet all the way from space, wouldn't they just burn up in the atmosphere?" Pikachu asked.

"...Fffffuuuuuuck." said Lucario. "This is my first time using my stand. It sounded a lot cooler in the name…"

"i take back what i said about donkey kong's stand. _this_ is the shittiest stand in existence." Link announced, shaking his head. "can't fight AND it kills baby puppies. for shame"

Link and Pikachu left Lucario to think about how fucking lame his stand is, as they stepped off the bus. With Donkey Kong being dead and Lucario wallowing in self-pity, they had no one to drive the bus, so they resorted to walking to find civilization.

Lucario cried himself to sleep that night, and subsequently committed seppuku the next morning.

To be continued.


	12. Chapter 12: Convenient Store

Our valiant protagonists wandered for what seemed to be forever. Having left a broken Lucario and a dead Donkey Kong on a stranded bus, they had set off to look for a nearby city. Unfortunately for them, the world they lived in was practically empty aside from the cities that were dotted everywhere. It had been 17 minutes and they were beginning to get tired of walking. It's a desert ok can you blame them and yes they're in a desert I forgot to mention that.

Link let himself trip over, making no effort to stop himself from falling. "i cant go on. if only there was a shop here where we could get some food and drinks" he cried, his voice muffled by having his face in the sand.

"Yeah, but there isn't." replied Pikachu. "But… we can't give up. We have to keep moving!"

"we could go back and eat donkey kong?" suggested Link, sitting up.

"Argh, sick! I'm not eating him!" Pikachu complained. "We'll keep looking for civilization."

Link shrugged. "just sayin. with my Big Ass Ghost Sword and your Volt Tackle, i could cut him all up and you could cook him with electricity. it'd be easy man"

"Nah… come on, get up. We're going to find somewhere." said Pikachu.

Link stood up. "aight but if i dont see a convenience store within the next 2 minutes i'm goin back and eating donkey kong" he stated, arms folded.

And wouldn't you know it, within 2 minutes they came across a lone convenience store in the middle of the desert. It was just like the local convenience store back in their hometown, 64 Avenue, except it was in the desert. They shared a high five that was awkward because of Pikachu's small size and stubby arms, before heading inside. Upon entering, Link and Pikachu each picked up a basket and began filling them with Mountain Dew and Doritos, having a whale of a time. These snacks would go better with a side of videogames, but the desert is shit and has no videogames so they had to make do with gamer snacks without the games ok. Link was eager to go to the counter, but Pikachu stopped him.

"what gives? i'm fuckin thirsty" Link yelled.

"Be quiet!" Pikachu whispered, shushing him. "Man, I think we fucked up. We haven't got any money to pay for all this."

"so?" shrugged Link. "let's just steal it."

"We can't do that!" protested Pikachu. "What if the clerk attacks us for not paying? It'll be Donkey Kong on the bus all over again!"

"thats what happens when you choose the thug lyf pikachu my friend" explained Link. "besides everyone hates us anyway who gives a shit"

Pikachu wanted to object, but thought 'fuck it', and chose the thug lyf. On the count of 3, Link and Pikachu made a dash for the door, and managed to escape the convenience store without being seen!

...That's what should have happened, but that's not what happened. Yeah, no, the clerk spotted them and got super fuckin pissed. Link and Pikachu almost made it to the exit, but tentacles grabbed them and dragged them slowly towards the counter, making them drop their baskets.

Link screamed and began kicking his legs about. "NO! NO! NONOOOONO! THIS IS ONLY OK WHEN IT HAPPENS TO HOT GIIIIRLS!" cried Link, who was not a hot girl.

The tentacles reached the counter, and Link and Pikachu were face to face with the source of them: a giant octopus. Suddenly, a voice from somewhere began speaking to them.

"Seriously?" said the voice. "C'mon you're the first customers I get in weeks and you come and steal shit? Grow up."

"what the hell is an octopus doing running a business anyway" asked Link.

"I'm not an oct-wait, you can see it?!" the voice questioned. "You must be stand users as well!"

"Eh, it's not a big deal. I'm sure everyone in the damn roster has a stand, right?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." the voice explained. "But I haven't seen many Smash characters come through here at all."

"Wait… do you work for Lucina?" questioned Pikachu.

"Huh? No, but I was offered the chance to join her." explained the voice. "Wasn't interested in universal domination. I wanted to follow my dreams of owning a convenience store in the middle of the desert."

"good for you octopus man" Link cheered, giving a thumbs up.

"Thanks! But the octopus is my stand, Disco Fever. That's not me." said the voice. Suddenly, Mr. Game &amp; Watch turned to an angle where he was visible, having been turned sideways the entire time making him appear invisible. "THIS is me."

"Oh, I wondered why I didn't see you around, dude!" Pikachu said, surprised. "Thought you got kicked out of Smash or something."

"Nah! I've just been here. Chillin'. Running my business." Mr. G&amp;W spoke.

"and you continue chillin and runnin your business man." Link said. "we gotta get going. could you let us go?"

"Sure thing, let me just call off my stanWAITAMINUTE" Mr. G&amp;W stopped. "All this friendly conversation sidetracked me. You guys still haven't paid for your gamer snacks!"

"shit" cursed Link.

Pikachu got an idea. "Hmm… tell you what! How about you help us get to the nearest city where we can find an ATM machine, and we can pay you then?" suggested Pikachu. "Of course, we take our baskets of gamer snacks with us there so we don't have to come back here."

"...Alright, fine." Mr. G&amp;W replied. He called off his stand, making Link and Pikachu fall to the floor. "Brawl Street shouldn't be far from here. Been a while since I've seen civilization, but I remember the way."

"Nice! Alright, let's go!" Pikachu said excitedly while gathering his share of gamer snacks and putting them in his basket. Link did the same before they left the convenience store.

The gang followed Mr. G&amp;W's lead. Much to Link and Pikachu's surprise, Brawl Street was actually back the way they came from, just a bit left from the stranded bus. It took a good 20 minutes before they could see Brawl Street in the distance (Brawl Street is a city now ok). They would have to be careful here, as there would no doubt be many enemies waiting to pounce on them on their journey to… the ATM machine. To be contintoed.


	13. Chapter 13: Withdrawal of the 20 Dollars

At long last, Link and Pikachu (and Mr. G&amp;W too I guess) had arrived at Brawl Street. It was time to find an ATM machine. The streets were weirdly empty, not even populated with the Mii Fighters that usually swarmed the area. Pikachu examined the immediate area, before turning to speak to the other two dudes.

"Alright, I know this street like Nuketown on Black Ops." proclaimed Pikachu. "There's an ATM like 6 minutes away. We go there, get the money, pay G&amp;W, and uh… shit."

"Shit? Why shit?" Mr. G&amp;W asked.

"...What do we do _after _we're done at the ATM?" Pikachu said, looking at Link.

Link just looked at him and shrugged. "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it"

"Do we go back to shithole town and get murdered by Lucina's army? Or do we just go home and pretend none of this ever happened?" yelled Pikachu. "Why did we run? We were at our destination!"

Link just looked at him and shrugged. "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it"

"Eh, alright." replied Pikachu.

As the two heroes (and Mr. G&amp;W too I guess) made their way to the ATM machine, Mr. G&amp;W couldn't help but feel like they were being watched. Or followed. Or both! Whatever, it was clear to him that someone was hiding nearby, just out of sight.

"Uh… hey, this might just be me, but I have a feeling we're being followed." stated Mr. G&amp;W, struggling to keep up with Pikachu and Link. "If it's one of Lucina's underlings, they may try to attack us!"

"Eh, I doubt it." Pikachu responded. "I should think everyone's occupied at the base, dealing with Captain Falcon or whatever the hell it is they're meant to be doing, working for Lucina."

"Have you seen the roster? It's huge! There's bound to be some enemies left behind here to ambush us!" Mr. G&amp;W tried to explain frantically. "We shouldn't let our guards down!"

Link just looked at him and shrugged. "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it"

"...Yeah. Yeah, what Link said. If anything happens, we'll be prepared." Pikachu replied.

It was about 3 minutes to the ATM now, and Mr. G&amp;W was getting increasingly paranoid. Being the only one with a stand resembling a living being, it gave him an extra sense shared by his stand, which enabled him to feel if other stand users or nearby. Or, if other stands are in effect…

Mr. G&amp;W was almost certain… no, he _KNEW _what he was feeling wasn't just in his head now. The feeling he was getting from his special stand sense (or some bullshit like that)... there was definitely an enemy stand present. But… he couldn't tell what it was doing, if anything. And he didn't know how to put a stop to it. And that was terrifying to him. Had he been shacked up in that convenience store so long, that he'd become paranoid of the outside world? No, no, there was definitely a stand around. He was not crazy. Where am I going with this. Does this paragraph even matter? Whatever.

At last, they arrived at the ATM. Mr. G&amp;W was still glancing around, looking for enemies. Link just watched as Pikachu put his card in and punched in his PIN number. His PIN number was of course 420, and he made no effort to hide that from people. He had plenty of money in the bank, as he had not yet blown it all on Call of Duty DLC yet. He turned to Mr. G&amp;W.

"Alright, what's the total come to? I forget how much gamer fuel we bought, we ate and drank a bunch on the way." asked Pikachu.

"Huh, what?" replied Mr. G&amp;W, startled. He was more focused on his surroundings than the ATM. "Oh. Uh, Just give me $20 or something. I don't know, that sounds about right."

"You sure?" questioned Pikachu. "We bought a ton of shit, but suit yourself."

Pikachu proceeded to withdraw $20 from the bank, before retrieving his card and storing it safely in the pockets of Link, who was also made to carry the basket of gamer food. Pikachu handed the $20 note to Mr. G&amp;W, who accepted and stored it in his two dimensional pockets.

"So!" Pikachu exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips. "Mission accomplished! ...What now?"

Mr. G&amp;W hesitated to respond, surprised that nobody had attacked them yet despite the presence he felt. Shaking it off, he turned to Pikachu. "Can't really help you there. I'm heading back to my store now, if you guys wanna come and play video games or something you're welcome to."

"Eh, maybe…" responded Pikachu. "We do need to go find Lucina, but it's far too dangerous to go back there right now. Maybe… maybe a video game break could be nice. We've been through some shit recently. What do you think, Link?"

Link just looked at him and shrugged. "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it"

"...Um, we're at that bridge now, dude." responded Pikachu, slightly confused.

Link just looked at him and shrugged. "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it"

Pikachu was now getting weirded out. Link was like a broken record, on repeat. He was stood in place now, repeating that same sentence over and over before regaining motion. Slowly but surely, Link began approaching Pikachu, still going on about crossing bridges when he comes to them. Pikachu slowly backed away, unsure of what was happening to his friend. But Mr. G&amp;W knew. This had to be the work of an enemy stand!

"Is… is this a stand or something?" Pikachu wondered out loud.

"It has to be. My Disco Fever has sensed that something was off ever since we got here, I just wasn't sure what." Mr. G&amp;W replied. "Hell, I'm _still _not sure what we're dealing with here. But whatever it is, it's taken Link."

Suddenly, whatever it was that was possessing Link managed to get the hang of controlling him, and Link sped up. The possessed Link tackled Pikachu, pinning him down. There was a delay as the possessor attempted to summon and control Link's stand. Mr. G&amp;W used this delay to shamelessly flee the scene, hoping to forget about all of this and go back to living a quiet life. He couldn't believe he was leaving these guys behind, but he never wanted to get involved in fighting this giant organization in the first place! He completed the transaction with them over the gamer food, and his business here was done.

At least, that's what he thought. As he turned a corner, he bumped into Yoshi, who stopped him in his tracks. Yoshi just grinned an evil grin as Mr. G&amp;W backed away, trembling. Yoshi continued to walk towards Mr. G&amp;W threateningly until he was close to Pikachu and Link again.

Yoshi didn't say a word to any of them, and instead diverted his gaze towards the rooftop of a nearby building. "Alright, you can come out now! We got 'em right where we want 'em!" shouted Yoshi proudly.

Just then, a pink blob emerged from the back of the roof, and made itself visible. Pikachu's jaw dropped as he realized just who the pink blob was, and that pink blob was none other than Jigglypuff! She floated down from the rooftop and landed beside Yoshi.

Pikachu, avoided bringing up the history he and Link had with Jigglypuff, posed a question. "So, which one of you has the stand responsible for breaking my friend?"

"That would be Jigglypuff." elaborated Yoshi. "Her stand, Pause Balls, is able to target a single individual and 'pause' their brain. This allows her to take control of the victim and use them to do her bidding. It takes a while to fully control the brain, but by the looks of it, you let your friend's possession go unnoticed long enough for her to assume full control! Hahahaha!"

"Damn it!" Pikachu cursed, turning to Jigglypuff. "Jiggs, I'm sorry for what Link did to you! Please, let him go! Can't we just let bygones be bygones?"

Jigglypuff just silently glared at Pikachu.

"Oh," Yoshi piped up. "She can't speak anymore. Her vocal chords were destroyed. Mario could only do so much to heal her by the time he got to the scene, after what Link did to her. Good luck earning her forgiveness, though."

"Ah, shit." Pikachu cursed again, as the possessed Link summoned Big Ass Ghost Sword at last. "Thanks for that, Link."

"So, where's your stand?" Mr. G&amp;W asked Yoshi, instead of choosing to ask about whatever the hell happened between Link and Jigglypuff.

"Right here!" yelled Yoshi. "Dinosaur Laser Fight, come forth!"

A giant pink dinosaur materialized out of nowhere, with laser guns attached all over its body. It fired at Mr. G&amp;W, who was sent crashing into a building. He struggled to get up as the dinosaur began charging towards him. Meanwhile, the Big Ass Ghost Sword of Link was in the air, ready to strike Pikachu. Things didn't look good.

Will the heroes (and Mr. G&amp;W) make it out of this unscathed? Iunno. To be contiddled.


	14. Chapter 14: I Gotta Believe!

Uh… where were we? ...Oh yeah, right. The battle going on. Ahem!

Pikachu was in quite a predicament, by the looks of it. Link had pinned him down, rendering him helpless as the Big Ass Ghost Sword descended over his head. He was done for! ...Okay, just kidding. As funny as it would be to just end it there, I just can't. Moving on, Pikachu had only one option at this point, and that was to use his stand against Link to cancel the sword's attack. He didn't want to hurt his friend, but he had no choice.

Pikachu summoned his stand, Volt Tackle, the electricity of which shot out of his cheeks and struck Link before he (or Jigglypuff) knew what hit him! Pikachu sighed in relief as Big Ass Ghost Sword, inches from his head, quickly faded away. Link stumbled backwards, desperately trying to keep his footing. He was twitching rather violently, his body obviously in pain from the attack. It hurt Pikachu to see his friend like this, but hey - if he hadn't attacked, he'd be in two pieces! Nevertheless, he couldn't bring himself to attack again. In order to put an end to this mind controlling stand, he would have to attack the user - Jigglypuff!

Pikachu turned away from Link, who was still reeling from Volt Tackle's attack, and made eye contact with Jigglypuff. He began to charge up with electricity. "Alright then, Jigglypuff," said Pikachu, preparing to deliver an edgy threat. "Let Link go, or else I won't let you go."

* * *

As that junk was going on, Mr. G&amp;W was climbing out of the rubble of the wall he had been sent plummeting into. He had only just got onto his feet before the mechanical T-Rex slammed into him again, finishing off the building the wall belonged to. The ancient, but also futuristic beast began to shake its head around to get rid of the dizzy feeling it had succumbed to from smashing its head. This would have been a good opportunity to get up and summon his stand, but Mr. G&amp;W didn't have the energy to. He really wished he was back at his convenience store again. These goons working under Lucina were clearly after Link and Pikachu, but just being with them made him a target. Hell, anyone not a part of Lucina's organization probably gets targeted! Him joining these two had nothing to do with it. He shouldn't have left the store. Whatever, it didn't matter. He was going to die at the hands of this vibrant abomination of a stand.

In the time Mr. G&amp;W had spent wallowing in regret, Dinosaur Laser Fight managed to fully recover from its dizziness, and was now slowly approaching the 2-dimensional shopkeeper. Surprisingly, the mighty dinosaur didn't attack once it reached Mr. G&amp;W, and instead stopped in its tracks as Yoshi strolled over to the vast amount of rubble Mr. G&amp;W was laying in.

"This is just pathetic," Yoshi scoffed. "You're not going to get up and defend yourself? I was expecting more of a challenge from the oldest character in the roster."

"I… I never wanted to get involved in this…" Mr. G&amp;W spluttered, coughing up black, 2-dimensional blood. "I just wanted to finish my business with these two… and go home."

"Hah!" laughed Yoshi. "You were involved from the very start! Don't act like you weren't!"

Mr. G&amp;W looked away from Yoshi. "...I don't know what you mean."

"Oh, come off it. It was _our _organization that gave you a stand! I was there when it happened!" yelled Yoshi. "You could have joined our cause like the grateful people in the roster we gave stands to, but _nope! _Instead you run off and hide in the desert, like a big pussy!"

It was all coming back to him now. Mr. G&amp;W remembered the memories he had blocked out - Like the moment he was pierced with the arrow that gave him his stand. Some people, like Link and Pikachu, can develop stands naturally. But for people that couldn't, like Mr. G&amp;W, Lucina's organization set out to _give _those people stands artificially before convincing them to join their cause. Mr. G&amp;W could have easily joined them, but upon learning the evil intentions of the group, decided he wanted no part of it. He fled to the desert and had been hiding there ever since (indeed, like a big pussy) until now. He had been drawn out, and the organization had found him.

Out of the blue, Yoshi pulled out his iPhone™ to check the time. "Oh, for pete's sake," he cursed, before putting his phone away. "I've wasted far too much time with you already. Let's just hurry this up, shall we?"

No! He couldn't let it end here! He… he had a convenience store to run! Slowly, but surely, Mr. G&amp;W found himself standing up, prepared to fight for his right to keep on living. He may have been badly injured from Dinosaur Laser Fight's attacks, but that didn't matter! Because he had the newfound power of _believing in himself _to keep him going! At last, Mr. G&amp;W summoned his stand to the battlefield. The flat but _very _intimidating octopus was about the same size as Yoshi's stand.

"Oh, you're actually fighting back now?" asked Yoshi. "Nice stand, by the way. That _we _gave you. You're welco-"

Before Yoshi could finish his sentence, the giant octopus grabbed him by the head and swung him around in the air multiple times. Dinosaur Laser Fight did nothing but watch with a worried expression. Eventually, the octopus let go of Yoshi, sending him plummeting into the wall of a nearby building.

"Hah! Y-yeah!" Mr. G&amp;W shouted. "That's… that's what you get!"

Yoshi emerged from the rubble of the wall he was sent through, cursing. "D-Dinosaur Laser Fight, you imbecile! Don't just stand there! Go! Attack!" yelled Yoshi.

Mr. G&amp;W wasn't sure he could survive another attack from the ugly old dinosaur, but he shrugged off those doubts. He had his stand with him, as well as his newfound motivation. 'Nothing can stop me,' he thought to himself as he clenched his flat fists.

"_I gotta believe!"_

Dinosaur Laser Fight turned to Mr. G&amp;W and fired a barrage of lasers at him. The octopus dived in front of its master and deflected every single one, before wrapping its tentacles around the mighty T-Rex, and tossing it straight at Yoshi! The building they had both been thrown at was of course, destroyed in the process. Mr. G&amp;W approached the rubble, his stand floating beside him, as a battered, bloodied and broken-legged Yoshi tried to crawl away,

"Jeez, you're fleeing? After all the stuff you said?" questioned Mr. G&amp;W, looking down at his vulnerable enemy. "What happened to your confidence?"

"Shut up! W-w-what happened t-to yours?" Yoshi spluttered. "You were ready to die! I was _so_ close to _destroying_ you!

"Well, I'm not too sure, but… I think I just learned to believe in myself." Mr. G&amp;W said, smiling.

"I… whatever. I'm done." Yoshi sighed, calling off his stand with a weak snap of his fingers. Just like that, Dinosaur Laser Fight faded away. "I can only hope the other members find you quickly, and give you a slow and painful death. And believe me, they'll find you."

"I'd… I'd like to see them try!" Mr. G&amp;W responded. He was definitely worried, but he didn't show it to Yoshi as he went to find the others.

"You can't run and hide forever, you flat fuck!" yelled Yoshi. Pretty soon, he was all alone on this end of the street.

"I wonder how Jigglypuff's handling things on her end…" Yoshi said to himself.

* * *

Back in time a little bit, Pikachu had just zapped the possessed Link, which bought him enough to approach and confront Jigglypuff. Their eyes made contact, as Pikachu began to charge up with electricity.

"Alright then, Jigglypuff," said Pikachu. "Let Link go, or else I won't let you go."

Jigglypuff tried to concentrate on controlling Link to make him attack again, but it was no use. Link was disoriented from the electric shock, and ended up collapsing due to Jigglypuff's commands stressing his barely responsive brain out. Jigglypuff panicked, trying to call her stand back so she could possibly possess Pikachu instead. Unfortunately for her, Pikachu was already too close. All it took was a small zap to knock Jigglypuff unconscious.

"Well, that was anticlimactic." muttered Pikachu.

Suddenly, he heard someone groaning. He turned around, and saw that it was coming from none other than Link, who was finally coming to! And it appeared that Jigglypuff's stand had vanished, as well!

Pikachu ran over to Link with a smile on his face. "You're okay! Thank god."

"uh not really" groaned Link. "everything fucking ACHES but thx for the concern"

"Ah, yeah… that would be me. Sorry for electrocuting you." said Pikachu.

Link paused for a second before responding. "what the fuck pikachu"

"You were being mind controlled! By Jigglypuff!" Pikachu explained, pointing to Jigglypuff's unconscious body. "I had to defend myself before I could take her out."

"ok but dont do it again" Link replied sternly. "so where did game n watch go, did you pay him the money or"

"Oh! Yeah, I paid him. But he's still around," said Pikachu, leading Link around the corner of the street to where Mr. G&amp;W and Yoshi were fighting. "I forgot to mention, but Jigglypuff didn't come alone. Yoshi was with her, and Mr. G&amp;W should be dealing with him right now."

As Pikachu and Link turned the corner, they bumped into Mr. G&amp;W.

"Oh, hey guys!" Mr. G&amp;W said confidently. "Judging by the fact Link's walking with you, can I assume you took care of Jiggs?"

"Yeah, she's out cold." Pikachu replied, whilst looking at the wreckage behind Mr. G&amp;W. "I take it… you took care of Yoshi, then?"

"He won't be getting up anytime soon," responded Mr. G&amp;W. "His legs are broken."

"ok then" said Link, choosing not to ask questions about it.

"Well, now that's all out of the way," began Pikachu, "Where the _hell _do we go from here?"

Mr. G&amp;W spoke up. "As I said earlier, I was gonna head back to the store. So if you guys want to play video games or something with me, you're more than welcome to."

"Eh, why not." replied Pikachu.

And with that, they set off. Back the way they came. Little did they know, that somebody was watching them (a common occurrence in this world). However, the figure only emerged from the shadows once they were out of sight, examining the area before approaching the rubble where Yoshi was.

"A-Ah!" Yoshi looked up, overjoyed at the sight of the figure. "M-Mario! It's you!"

Mario just stared at Yoshi with a mildly surprised look on his face.

"M-Mario?" Yoshi quivered. "Y-you can heal me, right?"

Finally, the moustached man spoke. "Fucking kidding me? Your legs are missing." he said. "My stand is pretty good at healing, but it can't fucking materialize new legs."

"Well, you have to do something!" cried Yoshi.

"Eh." replied Mario, before proceeding to walk away.

"What the - Hey! Mario! Come back!" Yoshi yelled. "Oh, you _asshole!_"

* * *

Ignoring Yoshi completely, Mario marched onward, heading the way our heroes went. As he walked, he pulled out an iPhone. The screen was cracked, it was the very same one Yoshi owned. He had swiped it from the rubble. Luckily, it still worked. He swiped through the contact list until he found Ness' number. He called it, and Ness picked up almost immediately.

"Yoshi? How'd the ambush go? Did you and Jigglypuff succeed?" Ness asked, from the other end.

"This is Mario." replied Mario. "The ambush failed. Yoshi is missing his legs, and is beyond healing. Don't know where Jigglypuff is, don't care. Though she probably suffered a similar fate. The enemies are not to be under-estimated. I'm going to follow them, and I need some backup. Send some operatives to Brawl Street immediately. Got all that, young man? Thanks, bye."

Ness barely had any time to respond before Mario hung up. It was a lot to process. Nevertheless, he understood his superior's orders and would oblige. If this organization is to succeed, he thought, the Hero of Time and that yellow rat thing must be destroyed. They had escaped the organization once, but they would not escape him again.

**To be continded. Wasn't sure how to end this one after the fights, and at the time of writing I'm extremely tired. So forgive me if the ending seems sloppy. Also, first author note I guess? Whatever. To be contindered.**


	15. Chapter 15: The New Stand User

Ness wandered through the corridors of Smash Tower, or whatever that place was called. Mii Fighter minions that worked for the actually important characters trembled in fear as he passed by. Ness smirked upon seeing their distressed faces. He loved his job. Before joining this organization, he was frequently bullied and teased. But now he was given a stand and the title of General, _nobody _fucked with him. After much strutting, Ness arrived at a set of double doors. He struggled to push them open, but quickly put on his tough guy face as he made it through, walking to the center of the room. Before him stood quite possibly the _edgiest _man this side of the planet - Dark Pit! Ness kept his distance, as the sheer edge of this menacing memester would surely cut him should he get too close.

"Alright, what've you got for me?" Ness asked, getting straight to the point. "Any fresh stand users I can send after the Hero of Time?"

Dark Pit snickered. "Heh... Maybe I got something for ya. Maybe I don't."

Ness pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't have time for this shit, just show me what you've got."

With a disappointed look on his face, Dark Pit shuffled over to a smaller door, entering through into another room and disappearing from sight. Moments later, he returned, dragging a spiny blue hedgehog with him. Dark Pit proudly placed Sonic on his feet in front of the General. Ness looked Dark Pit's way and raised his eyebrows, as if awaiting an explanation.

Dark Pit's proud expression transitioned into that of an ashamed schoolchild. "U-um, this is Sonic. He wasn't hard to persuade, a-and… with the stand I gave him, he might be a big help..!"

"Really? You gave _him_ a stand?" Ness sighed. "How the hell can I count on such a low life, trailer trash travesty to carry out this mission?"

"Wa-hey, screw you! I'm the opposite of that thing you just said, man!" Sonic piped up.

"Absolutely!" Dark Pit nodded. "Look, he seems like a bum, and maybe he is! I did find him outside of a dumpster, after all… But, he's _incredibly_ loyal."

Dark Pit reached into his Invader Zim messenger bag and pulled out a peculiar packet, taking one of the treats from it and throwing it to Sonic, who speedily leapt up and caught it in his mouth. Dark Pit gave a prideful smirk. "See? I'm paying him in dog treats. Keep him in check with these, and he'll put his _life_ on the line to serve you!"

Ness rolled his eyes. "He'll do, I suppose. Though, I'm going to need someone to accompany him. I'm not counting on him being all that useful in a fight, and besides that, someone is going to have to be there to feed him those treats."

Dark Pit folded his arms. "Well, we _do _have some stand users on reserve right now. Let me just precisely and tactically calculate who would be best suited for the job…"

The black angel silently turned away from his superior as he pulled a miniature spinning wheel from his bag and spun it. Printed onto it were the faces of all the characters in the roster. It took him a few spins, as it landed on Pikachu, Lucario, and Sonic before finally landing on someone they had on reserve, on their side. Dark Pit grinned and turned back around to face an expectant looking Ness, hiding the spinning wheel in his bag and swapping it for his phone.

"Bowser! We'll send Bowser!" yelled Dark Pit, before dialling his keyring-ridden phone and putting it to his ear.

A loud yawn came through, startling Dark Pit. "Yuh-huh?"

"Bowser! You are needed! Report to Room G9!" ordered Dark Pit.

"Aw, man…" Bowser yawned, still snug in his bed.. "Well, okay… be there in 5 minutes."

Dark Pit wanted to assert his dominance by hanging up first, but Bowser ended the call before the angel even took the phone away from his ear. Dark Pit put his phone back in his bag, and looked at Ness. "He'll be here in 5 minutes."

5 minutes passed, and then another 5 minutes passed. And then another.

"He's… gone back to sleep, hasn't he." spoke Dark Pit.

Ness didn't reply, simply sighing and leaving the room.

"Er, Ness?" Dark Pit called out, as the double doors swung shut upon Ness' departure.

Ness stomped through the hallways, walking faster than his usual speed as he headed to the dorms. Finding Bowser's room, he burst through the door and yelled at the top of his lungs.

"_GET THE FUCK UP!_"

Bowser screamed, suddenly awoken by the high-pitched, pre-pubescent squeal of his superior. He rubbed his head and turned towards the general standing in the doorway.

"Oh, hey… what's going on?" asked Bowser politely.

"Oh, nothing _much_." Ness said sarcastically. "Other than the fact that you were called to duty _**15 MINUTES AGO!**_"

"Whoops! S-sorry about that! Just give me 5 minutes of peace and quiet, and I'll be with you." Bowser stated, pulling the covers over himself to keep warm.

Ness slowly approached Bowser, before swiftly tearing the covers away from him. "If you'd like, I can give you an _eternity _of peace and quiet! Would you like that?"

"That'd be fantastic!" smiled Bowser. "How generous of you!"

"I'm implying that I'm going to kill you, you dense buffoon! _GET UP!_" yelled Ness. "You have a job to do!"

The large turtle soon hopped out of bed, albeit with hurt feelings. "That's not nice."

"I am not nice." Ness said in true Skeletor fashion.

Bowser simply grumbled as he followed Ness' lead. It wasn't long before they arrived in good old Room G9 again, with Dark Pit and Sonic still there waiting.

"He was sleeping, wasn't he?" Dark Pit smirked.

"If it were up to me, I'd have fired him on the spot!" Ness growled. "Incompetent shit."

"Suddenly, I don't seem so bad now do I? Ayy!" Sonic cheered.

"You're both shitty people. Anyway, now that we're all set, I want you two to head off to Brawl Street!" Ness announced. "You are to find and eliminate Link and Pikachu from the roster. Understand?"

Bowser sighed. "Guess so."

"Hey hey! I know those guys!" yelled Sonic. "Cool dudes."

"Yeah?" Ness said, leaning closer towards Sonic. "Go kill them."

Sonic put his hands on his hips defiantly. "WOAHHH now. That's cray-cray!" shouted the blue blur, before pausing for a moment. "...Double the food pay and I'll do it."

"Can do." stated Dark Pit, before walking over to Bowser and handing him the bag of dog treats. "Hey big guy," he whispered.

"Huh?" Bowser replied.

"If Sonic falls out of line, use these." Dark Pit uttered, shaking the bag to draw Bowser's attention to it. "I'm sure he'll be fine, but Ness doesn't trust him. So… yeah, take these, just to make sure."

Bowser obliged and took the bag, and hid it inside his shell because he can do that ok.

Ness coughed incredibly loudly in order to get everyone's attention, before folding his arms. "Ahem! I assume the both of you are ready? Know how to use your stands?" questioned the general, glancing at both Sonic and Bowser.

Ness got a "Yeah…" from Bowser.

And a "Nope!" from Sonic.

"Well, figure it out. Too much time has been wasted already." Ness told Sonic. "Unfortunately, Donkey Kong's bus hasn't come back to the station yet, so you'll have to find other means of transport. Which means you'll be even later."

"Dude, I can just run there, man." Sonic spoke, raising his hand.

"You need Bowser with you." Dark Pit responded. "Keep an eye on you and all."

"How about I just go now, yo? And then big dude catches up at his own pace!" suggested Sonic. "I can go and beat them up, and then he can come and pay me some treats for my hard work! And, back me up if I can't take 'em out in time."

Ness looked skeptical, but decided to allow it. "I shall temporarily place my trust into you, that you will follow the mission. Both of you, actually."

Bowser and Sonic nodded.

"Now, piss off. At your own pace, of course." finished Ness.

And with that, Sonic dashed out of the room and found the nearest window to dive out of, getting pierced by glass shards and tumbling down out of the building. Bowser slowly trudged out of the room, planning to walk all the way there. The poor sod. Once he was gone, Dark Pit and Ness went their separate ways, with Ness going back to his office and Dark Pit retreating into his room to listen to 'Welcome To The Black Parade' on repeat like the edgy kid he is.

* * *

And so, we finally cut back to the main characters who are doing something far more interesting and crucial to the plot. Yes, that's right - playing video games. Specifically, they were playing Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare for the Xbox One, which was hooked up in the back room of Mr. Game &amp; Watch's convenience store. Now, Mr. G&amp;W may be the oldest character on the roster, but don't let that fool you into thinking he's outdated! No no, he's actually quite hip!

"KILLSTREAK! KILLSTREAK! TACTICAL NUKE INBOUND!" yelled Mr. G&amp;W, clearly winning at the game.

"so unfair" cried Link as he and Pikachu's characters were obliterated by the attack. "we're playing on your console so you have all the guns unlocked and we have nothing. if this was on my console you would be fucking destroyed m8"

"Just get good!" Mr. G&amp;W replied.

"excuse you" Link said sternly, dropping the controller and crossing his arms. "i'm the goodest shitting good there is"

While Link was being grumpy and not holding his controller, his character was killed by Pikachu's moments after his respawned. Link threw up his arms in utter disbelief, before getting up and storming out without a word. Pikachu and Mr. G&amp;W took turns going and killing his character for some easy points while he was off having an episode.

"Salty." Mr. G&amp;W muttered as Link left the building.

Upon leaving the store, Link leant against the glass pane and pulled out a bottle of Mountain Dew from his pocket. He took a lengthy swig before putting it back. He was way too salty right now, so he counted to 10 in his head to calm himself down. It wasn't often Link was left to his own thoughts, which surprised him. Most of his time was spent with Pikachu or Lucina. ...Oh yeah, Lucina. He wanted to think of some sick Call of Duty strategies but couldn't help think of _her _again. What's she playing at, starting some dark cult and not telling him? He kinda wanted to get in on it, who doesn't love universal domination? He was sure Pikachu would oblige if they both joined Lucina together. Athough, with all the mindless minions coming at them, Link felt like maybe Lucina was plotting against him after all. Surely she'd call them off if she wasn't?

Link got a sharp pain in his head as he realized he was having intelligent thoughts. Too much thinking is a terrible thing. He lost his train of thought as he took another swig of Mountain Dew. Maybe it was time to go back inside and get his killstreak back. Yeah! He was going to show them who the real MVP is! Finishing off his Mountain Dew and tossing the bottle on the ground, Link prepared to head back inside. As he turned to face the double doors, he felt a strong breeze brush past him, prompting him to turn around. An indistinguishable blue blur circled the convenience store a few times before finally stopping in front of Link.

"Hey, hey, hey! I've _finally _found you." Sonic smirked. "Looked _all over_ Brawl Street, I would have _never_ guessed you'd be here though. Wazow!"

"is this about what happened at the library?" asked Link. "if it is just get over it you only lost a few rings come on"

"FORGET those rings man, no worries!" replied Sonic, giving a thumbs up. Link looked a bit relieved until Sonic opened his mouth again. "Ness is paying me handsomely!"

"oh uh" hesitated Link. "for what"

"To kill you dudes!" said the hedgehog casually. "But hey no hard feelings, right?"

Not wanting to fight him alone, Link charged through the double doors of the convenience store to fetch Pikachu and Mr. G&amp;W. As he approached the back room, he was hardly surprised to see they had already racked up a ton of points killing his character. As salty as that made him, he had to ignore it.

"Oh, hey!" welcomed Mr. G&amp;W. "Wanna get rekt some more?"

"shut up" responded Link, turning to Pikachu. "sonic is here"

"Sonic? What's he doing here?" asked Pikachu, still killing Link's character on the game. "Tell him to go home, we don't need a 4th player. The split screen is small enough as it is."

Link was in disbelief at himself. For once, he was the serious one. But whatever. He explained the situation pretty simply. "dude he wants to fucking kill us"

"Wait, seriously?" Pikachu replied in shock. He stopped playing the game and walked over to the door of the back room, peering out to see Sonic inside the store, looking at the items on sale. Pikachu turned back to Link, quietly closing the door behind him. "He… seems harmless."

"HEY LINK," Sonic could be heard shouting, "Get out here so I can mash your face in, hoo-_hah_!"

"he said ness is paying him" explained Link.

"Shit, this is bad." responded Pikachu, before pausing. "...We can't hide from him forever."

"You're right, we can't." Mr. G&amp;W spoke up, putting down his controller. "But we have stands, don't we? What are we even afraid of, let's go mash _his _face in!"

"good point" Link conceded. "you go out first"

Mr. G&amp;W wanted to argue, but he didn't bother. He was sure Sonic had a stand, he could sense it. But he wasn't sure how powerful it was. But with a piece of trash like Sonic, how strong could it be? Stands are manifestations of the user's spirit, after all. With brave, beepy footsteps, Mr. G&amp;W left the back room.


End file.
